8 Things to Consider When Hosting Thanksgiving

We invited 24 people to our house for Thanksgiving.

What on Earth were we thinking...?

We were thinking that we wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving together as a family.

We were thinking that our family doesn't consist of only the three of us (counting Bruce) but includes our friends, as well.  We didn't want to leave out our friend family!

We were thinking a big gathering would be fun!

We weren't thinking of the fact that we only have three dining chairs, a recliner, a couch, and an office chair to serve as seating.

Or that we have zero entertainment for the kids in our adult-inhabited house.

Or that our dog is a hot damn mess who doesn't know how to behave himself in a crowd of people.  But hey, this will be a good training opportunity, right?  Teaching him not to jump on people as they walk into our home carrying hot food...?

We didn't think this through...  But we're doing it anyway!  And it's going to be fun (please).  I'll go ahead and share our plan with you.  Let's hope it works out the way we want it to - for us and for you if you consider these 8 things!

Photo by picjumbo.com

1.  If you are a young person with young friends, you can probably invite 5 extra people without getting too worried about it.  Some of your guests will bail last minute anyway.  You know they will because, if you're like my husband and I, you bail on people last minute all the time.  It's not that we WANT to bail!  Things come up when two people are trying to get used to sharing a calendar!  Don't take it personally.  Just count on some last-minute cancellations and go on to the next consideration.

2.  Figure out where you're going to put all these friggin' people - you know, the people you love but don't usually have to feed all at once.  Rent or borrow tables and chairs.  Got a wide hallway?  Put a table in it.  Got a big kitchen?  Put another table in it.  Got a TV tray?  You've got a table.  Spread a tablecloth out on the floor and call it the kids' table.  And don't pretend most of your friends don't just eat on the couch.  Let them eat on the couch.  They like it there.

3.  Kids...  We don't have kids and feel intimidated by the prospect of keeping them entertained in our home because we have no toys, no trampoline, nothing fun at all really.  Kid-proof a room to the best of your ability and tell them to bring their own toys!  The parents will handle the rest.  They know what to do.  (Someone will tell the oldest kid to be in charge.)  If you really want to go above and beyond, buy a kid game from the thrift store and put it in that room.

4.  Know what you are in charge of!  The first thing you have to do is tell people the time and place of the event.  Then, you have to be there at that place at that time with places for them to put their food, drinks, and bodies.  As host, you are in charge of meat and at least part of the drinks.  You should probably also make a side just to be safe.  If you invite kids, make sure you have something for the kids.  Example:  We are making mulled wine for the adults and have hot chocolate and marshmallows for the kids and designated drivers.

5.  Tell people what they are in charge of.  Don't assume they know.  Most people who drink know to bring their own alcohol, but sometimes people in their 20's don't automatically think to bring food to a food-centered gathering.  Tell them to bring a side.  Suggest sides.  Then tell them to tell you what side they are bringing.  If a big portion of your guests are single dudes, post links to recipes that look good.  You don't want to end up with 4 trays of Stovetop (or maybe you do).

6.  Parking.  The neighbors will hate you.  Embrace the hate.  It's only for a few hours, after all, but if you're really concerned about it, ask your single friends to carpool or tell people to park in an empty lot down the street. (Someone owns that lot, so get their permission to park your guests there first.)

7.  What's the plan for the pets?  We have a crazy dog named Bruce who loves meeting new people and is a little intrusive with his affection (he jumps and sniffs and pushes people down).  There are a couple of options here, and I'm still trying to decide what we're going to do.  The saddest option is to keep him locked in our room or even kennel him while people are here.  He would hate that, and it wouldn't really help our family in the long run.  The other option is to take him for a LONG walk in the morning and then dope him up on Benadryl to make him more manageable, but that's kind of a controversial solution to our problem.  Honestly, we will probably end up giving him Benadryl.  It won't hurt him.  It won't hurt anyone else.  If that's a problem for you, then don't come to our Thanksgiving celebration.  How 'bout that?

8.  This is extremely important: Start drinking wine early.  Then you won't give a rat's ass how insanely crowded your house is or how many people your dog tackles - you'll just laugh it off, open a window to let some air in, and make room for more guests at the tables you rented by sitting on the floor with the kids to eat.  Wine is the secret to a stress-free holiday.  Keep it flowin'.  Unless you're an angry drunk.

Do you have any other tips on how to host Thanksgiving dinner for more people than could possibly fit in your house?  If so, for God's sake, please leave as many suggestions as possible in the comments.  This is going to be a nightmare.  No it's not.  No it's not.  It'll be fun.  *pours another glass of wine*