Weddings Are a Scam! (Do What You Want!)

Big weddings are not for everyone.  And that's okay!  Small weddings are not for everyone, either.  And that's okay, too!!  We sort of met in the middle, pulling our favorite parts from each end of the spectrum.

I'm still a little embarrassed to admit that my husband and I did not have a long courtship - we got married after knowing each other less than a year.  I guess because I consider myself a sensible, modern woman, I feel like we should've dated for a few years, been engaged for a few more, and finally committed after a year of pre-marital counseling and half a decade of memories piled up to support us in our weaker moments.  Well, life really loves to throw me out of my comfort zone.  We announced our engagement to our families, who promptly began acting like we were dying, and started planning the wedding.

You know what you NEED in order to get married?  Besides love and a desire to hang out together for a while.  There are a lot of checklists out there, but what you need is a marriage license, some money, an ordained minister, two witnesses, and the two people who want to get married.  Sometimes, you need an appointment, but otherwise, that's it.  And that's all we had when we got married at the courthouse in May.

As you can see, we had a VERY low-key wedding ceremony with just the bare necessities (and a few surprise witnesses from the windows of the courthouse, who cheered loudly when we kissed - aww).  We left immediately after this for Kansas City, and honestly, I was dressed for comfort because that's a long car ride.  The point is the marriage was legal, and the commitment was real - even without fancy hair, makeup, and clothing.  We decided to renew our vows for the sake of our family and friends a week later at the reception, and this time, we dressed a little nicer for the party.

Most of the people who know what's going on in this picture seem relatively happy, yes?

Okay, some of us at the back look ready for the photo op to be over because it was friggin' hot when we all crammed in close together like this, and a majority of us just look drunk.  But anyway, this is a cross-section of our wedding reception, and most everyone is having a blast.

Now, we both come from middle class families, and my dad is retired (woot woot!).  There was NO REASON to pretend we had an unlimited budget, as fun as that would be.  Since we only had three months to plan the wedding reception - and since I'm a cheap ass who doesn't buy into consumerism and hates anything flashy - we needed to make the whole thing as inexpensive and practical as possible.

We saved money on:

• The ordained minister: My hilarious uncle with the booming voice officiated the wedding.  He and the rest of my uncles - and probably some aunts - worked together to write the ceremony.  It was perfect.
• The dress: I wore a $200 dress that I bought online with the intention of dyeing it and wearing it again at one of my husband's awards ceremonies or graduations.  I'm thinking light purple, then dark purple, then black, but I'm open to suggestions.
• My engagement ring: It's not a real diamond.  *gasp!*  It's moissanite, but you'd never be able to tell the difference if I didn't tell you.  And I don't have a wedding band because I have tiny fingers, and more metal just seemed cumbersome.
• The groom's wedding band: Y'all, it was $17 on Amazon, and it's the same thing they sell at Zales.  Don't be crazy.
• The bouquet: Mom and Grammy made my bouquet out of book pages.  It is AMAZING!!!
• The decorations: We borrowed enamelware from all of our relatives to use as serving dishes.  Mom got our vases in a sack sale at the thrift store, and the flowers were from Walmart.  We put butcher paper and crayons on the table.
• The sendoff: Mom printed out paper airplanes with space for guests to write advice or well-wishes before folding them up and throwing them at us.
• The honeymoon: We went to Kansas City.  We had a steak dinner at the Hereford House and went to a Royals game.  Then we took a brewery tour, got drunk at an arcade bar, and drove through Taco Bell for dinner one of our best nights EVER!

We splurged on:

• The Photographer:  My friend Rose Coleman took our pictures, and I will never regret breaking the budget on her.  I hardly remember anything that happened that night because it all went by so fast, but she captured everything so beautifully for my beloved photo albums.  If you're not a photo album freak like me, maybe this won't be as important for your wedding, but it was non-negotiable for ours.
• The Booze:  We still have wine and beer left over, but everyone who wanted to drink was able to get trashed to their heart's content and have a fantastic time, which is what we cared about. Also, my parents' fire pit was a popular hangout for the rest of the summer since they had a whole closet full of booze.
• The DJ:  We used a guy I went to high school with, Donnie Chalepah, and he was awesome!  He gauged the atmosphere and played different genres accordingly.  He single-handedly kept the party going.  Hardly anyone left early, and I give him all the credit for this because my husband and I were all over the place just trying to talk to everyone.
• The Catering:  Tacos.  Dude.  Who doesn't love tacos.  The thing was, we didn't account for cancellations due to weather or people being afraid to get food on themselves or seem like pigs, so we ordered WAY too much and threw a lot of it out.  It broke my heart.  Don't order too much food.
• The Venue:  We invited 150 people, so we needed a big venue.  I was happy with what Plenty Mercantile offered because it was a quirky warehouse/rooftop combo that fit our personalities and could accommodate my large family and all of my husband's endless entourage.

Was our wedding ceremony everything the magazines dream up for us to fantasize about?  No.  Was it absolutely perfect for us and a ton of fun with no sobbing or stressing?  Thankfully, yes!  And you know why?  Because we didn't go by what a magazine said we HAD to do - we did what worked for us!

(Full disclosure: We also carried the party back to the hotel lobby, broke a table, drank 4 bottles of champagne and took who knows how many shots before saying goodbye to our single friends as they piled into a truck and drove out to the nearest strip club.  We set an alarm to say goodbye to my in-laws, who left at 4am, but ended up only making it to the door before stumbling blindly back to bed.  We have never laughed so much in our lives.  This was an amazing night, and we didn't have to break the budget to make it happen.)

How did you save money on your wedding?  What "necessities" did you cut out completely?  What was your best bargain?  And most importantly, what was your favorite memory from your own wedding?