We Hosted 22 Adults, 5 Kids, and a Dog for Thanksgiving

It.  Was.  SO FUN!

My husband took Bruce for a long walk after breakfast in an attempt to deplete some of his bounce and energy.  It worked pretty well, but we still gave him a Benadryl to keep him calm and make him a little less nervous since he hasn't spent a lot of time around large groups of people.  We're actually not sure if he's ever spent time around kids, but he did really well with them and even let our friends toddler use him as a pillow when they both got tired of walking around everybody's legs.

We started cooking (and drinking, let's be honest) around 9:30am, and people started showing up around noon.  Turkey was done ahead of schedule at 2:30pm because everything cooks faster in this tiny oven.  We had plenty of food and in fact have a ton of leftovers.  We went through most of a 14 lb turkey, an 8 lb ham, stuffing, macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, gravy, pecan praline sweet potatoes, prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, 5 packages of Hawaiian rolls, crescent rolls, lumpia, a couple of meat and cheese plates with crackers, olives, chips and dip, puff pastry with cranberry and brie, a pumpkin pie, an apple pie, a red velvet cake, a crockpot of mulled wine, and about 3 trash bags full of beer bottles.  I'm sure I'm forgetting something.  We had so much food.  Our kitchen looked like Heaven.

We actually didn't run out of beer and only ran out of mulled wine an hour before everybody started making their exits.  Most importantly, we didn't run out of things to laugh about.  We kept Spades and Cards Against Humanity going throughout the day, and the last 9 of us closed down the night with a super competitive (and hilarious) game of Cranium.  I think our British friends were just entertained watching us celebrate our weird, American holiday.  It was fun to see the roles reversed because usually I'm the one asking what different food is and trying to figure out why we're celebrating.  Ha!

There were only two dog-related issues.  Our neighbor is allergic to dogs, which means Bruce, of course, chose him as a favorite person to rub up against.  And when those same neighbors knocked to come in, our friend opened the door, and Bruce shot out into the front yard where our sweet, little neighbor kid Charlie was waiting to come in - and he's deathly afraid of dogs.  By the time I got outside 2 seconds later, he was down the block hiding and crying hysterically.  We felt TERRIBLE.  Thankfully, they are great people and held onto their sense of humor during it all.  Well, everyone but Charlie, but who can blame him?  Bruce is almost as tall as he is!

At the end of the night, we were bummed to discover that someone had dried their hands a little too vigorously and pulled our towel holder off the bathroom wall, so add that to the list of considerations - something WILL get broken.  No sweat, though.  It's an easy fix to putty it back onto the wall, and if that's the worst thing that happened, I'm comfortable calling our first Thanksgiving a great success!  We made new friends, laughed again at all of the fun things we've done with our old friends, complimented our dog on being such a good boy, and finally locked the door around 10:00pm with a satisfied sigh.  We went to bed with full bellies and happy memories.  Can't wait to do it all again next year.

VFW Veterans Day and Remembrance Day 10k

Running is hard.

Okay, fine, running isn't hard.  In fact, if you listen to a friend I made in Haiti, nothing in life is hard.  But athletic activity in general isn't something that I am naturally good at.

My husband and I trained for almost two months for the VFW Veterans Day and Remembrance Day 10k run in Mildenhall.  Then we adjusted our training a little bit.  Then we trained a little more until we finally felt as ready as could be expected to run Six. Freaking. Miles.  And you know what...

WE FINISHED IN 66 MINUTES!

This was our first 10k run, and it went MUCH better than expected - our initial goal was 75 minutes, and we CRUSHED IT.  The people at East Anglia VFW Post 12143 and all of the volunteers and spectators did a great job of providing a safe, fun, and inspiring atmosphere for the race.  It was even greater to see some friends of ours volunteering at the water stops for some personalized shouts of encouragement as we made our way along the route.

It's now 7 hours later, and all of my joints feel like they might have crumbled - but that won't take away from my sense of accomplishment!

I'd love to hear what goal you've reached recently!  Tell me in the comments - let's encourage each other!

Simple Season Decorating with Sincere Spaces

All of my friends are incredibly talented in one way or another.  Some of us can sing.  Some of us create imaginative works of art.  Some of us always win at Scrabble.  Some of us can chug a beer in less than 5 seconds.  Lots of talent in my social circle.

One of my very best and most talented friends is an interior designer, and I am SO excited to have her help in preparing for our out-of-control Thanksgiving dinner.

Her name is Natalie Lytle, and with her business Sincere Spaces, she can help you refine and design any room in your house.  What that leaves you with is a home in which you are surrounded 100% by things you love, efficient spaces you utilize often, and an environment that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when you walk in the front door.  It's a multi-step process that you can read more about here.  (The sneak peek I got of her portfolio was phenomenal.  The closets.  Oh my gosh.)

This holiday season, she can help all of us look like we've actually got our shit together enough to host Thanksgiving at our house.  (Thank the Lord!)

She and I are working via Skype to create beautiful tablescapes and little, decorative surprises out of the pretty vases and glass mugs that I already have (along with berries and pieces of trees that I stole from around the neighborhood during Bruce's walks this week).  Hey, neighbors, I basically trimmed your hedges for free this week - you're welcome.

This is what I've gathered so far:

(It already looks great, and it's just sitting at the bottom of a sack!  I can't wait to see what she does with all of this!!!!)

If you're interested in adding that little, extra spark of cheer to your Thanksgiving dinner this season, start gathering greenery and give Natalie a shout at sincerespaces@gmail.com!  You guys can work out a time when she can come to your house (if you're nearish to Oklahoma City) or set up a Skype or FaceTime date to experiment with ideas for your own tables.

I can't wait to show you what she does with our house!  I hope I have enough stuff...

Whole30 - Are You Brave Enough to See if You're Wrong?

Maybe I hang with the wrong crowd, but lately I've heard a lot of ridicule aimed at people who are jumping on the "gluten sensitivity" train.  Here's the deal: Gluten sensitivity is a real thing.  Just like dairy sensitivity is a real thing - at its worst it's called lactose intolerance.  Just like diabetes is a real thing.  And Crohn's disease is a real thing.  If you aren't sensitive to any foods, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but taking the gluten out of my diet is one of the best things (of all time) I could do for my body.  And yes, I just paraphrased Kanye but only to make you realize that cutting down people who are trying to improve themselves is the equivalent of pulling a Kanye.

Let me ask you a question.  Are you 100% sure that you don't have any food issues?  Because I thought I was one of the lucky ones with no food issues, too.  

Spoiler alert: I'm not one of the lucky ones.  

Aside from an addiction to sugar, I also discovered that gluten or wheat or something in bread-type foods makes me an angry, hateful person with clouded thoughts and a quick temper.  How did I discover that?  By cutting those foods out of my diet for a full 30 days.  

I'm talking about the Whole30.

Photo by whole30.com

What is the Whole30?  In my opinion, it's the best thing you can do for yourself.  Objectively, it is a program of eating (it's "not a diet," but I'm going to call it a diet) that eliminates common problem foods for 30 DAYS and then gradually reintroduces those foods one by one for you to find out exactly which foods cause issues with you.  It's a diet that's not about the scale - though you will lose weight.  It's about your mental health, your emotional health, your physical health, and the control you should have over all aspects of your well-being.

Here are the things you eliminate: 

-Sugar

-Alcohol

-Grains

-Legumes

-Dairy

-Carrageenan, MSG, and Sulfites

-Foods typically made with the eliminated items but substituted with good foods (Don't try to make cookies out of apple sauce, pizza out of cauliflower, etc.)

-Stepping on a scale.  Yep, I'm saying you can't weigh yourself for 30 days.

It sounds terrible.  It is.  But it's also AWESOME.  If this sugar addict (and pizza addict and beer lover) can do it, so can you.  Trust me.

I completed my first and only (so far) Whole30 earlier this year.  After about a week, I felt mentally and physically better than I have in my entire life.  That quick temper that I've always been known for?  It disappeared.  The generalized feelings of melancholy that I've lived with my whole life?  They evaporated.  When something upset me during those 30 days, I quickly recognized what was triggering those negative feelings and responded logically, you know, like they tell you to do in self-help books and magazine articles.  Who was this normal person????  It was me.  The real me.  The me beneath the gluten gloom.

I'm ready to be that person again, but that means I'll have to kick bread-type foods out of my life permanently.  Am I sensitive to gluten?  I don't know.  I'm not currently able to claim more than a mere correlation between glutenous foods and general grumpiness, but that's enough for me to want to drop those foods from my diet.  Will I be able to live a pizza-less life?  I guess we'll find out... after the holidays.  ;-)

Do you want to find out if you could possibly eliminate the parts of your personality that make you cringe?  Try eliminating a few foods from your diet, and see if that helps.

For a TON of free resources and more information on how the Whole30 has literally HEALED people, visit Whole30.com.

8 Things to Consider When Hosting Thanksgiving

We invited 24 people to our house for Thanksgiving.

What on Earth were we thinking...?

We were thinking that we wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving together as a family.

We were thinking that our family doesn't consist of only the three of us (counting Bruce) but includes our friends, as well.  We didn't want to leave out our friend family!

We were thinking a big gathering would be fun!

We weren't thinking of the fact that we only have three dining chairs, a recliner, a couch, and an office chair to serve as seating.

Or that we have zero entertainment for the kids in our adult-inhabited house.

Or that our dog is a hot damn mess who doesn't know how to behave himself in a crowd of people.  But hey, this will be a good training opportunity, right?  Teaching him not to jump on people as they walk into our home carrying hot food...?

We didn't think this through...  But we're doing it anyway!  And it's going to be fun (please).  I'll go ahead and share our plan with you.  Let's hope it works out the way we want it to - for us and for you if you consider these 8 things!

Photo by picjumbo.com

1.  If you are a young person with young friends, you can probably invite 5 extra people without getting too worried about it.  Some of your guests will bail last minute anyway.  You know they will because, if you're like my husband and I, you bail on people last minute all the time.  It's not that we WANT to bail!  Things come up when two people are trying to get used to sharing a calendar!  Don't take it personally.  Just count on some last-minute cancellations and go on to the next consideration.

2.  Figure out where you're going to put all these friggin' people - you know, the people you love but don't usually have to feed all at once.  Rent or borrow tables and chairs.  Got a wide hallway?  Put a table in it.  Got a big kitchen?  Put another table in it.  Got a TV tray?  You've got a table.  Spread a tablecloth out on the floor and call it the kids' table.  And don't pretend most of your friends don't just eat on the couch.  Let them eat on the couch.  They like it there.

3.  Kids...  We don't have kids and feel intimidated by the prospect of keeping them entertained in our home because we have no toys, no trampoline, nothing fun at all really.  Kid-proof a room to the best of your ability and tell them to bring their own toys!  The parents will handle the rest.  They know what to do.  (Someone will tell the oldest kid to be in charge.)  If you really want to go above and beyond, buy a kid game from the thrift store and put it in that room.

4.  Know what you are in charge of!  The first thing you have to do is tell people the time and place of the event.  Then, you have to be there at that place at that time with places for them to put their food, drinks, and bodies.  As host, you are in charge of meat and at least part of the drinks.  You should probably also make a side just to be safe.  If you invite kids, make sure you have something for the kids.  Example:  We are making mulled wine for the adults and have hot chocolate and marshmallows for the kids and designated drivers.

5.  Tell people what they are in charge of.  Don't assume they know.  Most people who drink know to bring their own alcohol, but sometimes people in their 20's don't automatically think to bring food to a food-centered gathering.  Tell them to bring a side.  Suggest sides.  Then tell them to tell you what side they are bringing.  If a big portion of your guests are single dudes, post links to recipes that look good.  You don't want to end up with 4 trays of Stovetop (or maybe you do).

6.  Parking.  The neighbors will hate you.  Embrace the hate.  It's only for a few hours, after all, but if you're really concerned about it, ask your single friends to carpool or tell people to park in an empty lot down the street. (Someone owns that lot, so get their permission to park your guests there first.)

7.  What's the plan for the pets?  We have a crazy dog named Bruce who loves meeting new people and is a little intrusive with his affection (he jumps and sniffs and pushes people down).  There are a couple of options here, and I'm still trying to decide what we're going to do.  The saddest option is to keep him locked in our room or even kennel him while people are here.  He would hate that, and it wouldn't really help our family in the long run.  The other option is to take him for a LONG walk in the morning and then dope him up on Benadryl to make him more manageable, but that's kind of a controversial solution to our problem.  Honestly, we will probably end up giving him Benadryl.  It won't hurt him.  It won't hurt anyone else.  If that's a problem for you, then don't come to our Thanksgiving celebration.  How 'bout that?

8.  This is extremely important: Start drinking wine early.  Then you won't give a rat's ass how insanely crowded your house is or how many people your dog tackles - you'll just laugh it off, open a window to let some air in, and make room for more guests at the tables you rented by sitting on the floor with the kids to eat.  Wine is the secret to a stress-free holiday.  Keep it flowin'.  Unless you're an angry drunk.

Do you have any other tips on how to host Thanksgiving dinner for more people than could possibly fit in your house?  If so, for God's sake, please leave as many suggestions as possible in the comments.  This is going to be a nightmare.  No it's not.  No it's not.  It'll be fun.  *pours another glass of wine*

Preparing for a 10k When You're so Not a Runner

I recently met a whole new group of friends - as will happen when you make a big move - and that new group of friends has a whole new set of activities for me to get involved in.  Woot!  I dig joining a cause - cooking for fundraisers, volunteering at different shindigs, buying crap I don't really need at those product parties, etc. - but the first time I was asked to join their running club, I balked.  I wanted to join, but I was scared, so I voiced some noncommittal interest and left it at that.  My track record for joining in on sporty things is not great.  I usually lose interest and give up or just generally let my team down at the next to last minute because organized, team sports are just not my thing.  I always like my teammates A LOT - probably all the endorphins from working out together makes us bond even faster than usual - but I am a solo creature.  Big time.  I would be an excellent hermit.

A couple of months after they asked me to join, I traveled a few towns over to support our running club at their first half marathon and (after my car broke down, and I was rescued, and we finally made it back to the starting point of the race) remembered how awesome the atmosphere is at a race.  I've only run three 5k's in my life, but all three times made me feel like a superstar because that is how they treat you at the finish line.  They give you free food!  They pass out coupons!  They have massage tents!  Random businesses in the vicinity cook pancakes or whatever!  There are sales on running gear!  There are food trucks!  Beer!  All that, and the music is usually great and inspiring, which really ties the whole thing together.  I was hooked.  I joined the dang running club.

Most of the newbies were signing up for the Veterans Day 5k, but I know myself and decided to sign up for the 10k because I knew I would actually try to train for the longer distance - whereas, for the 5k I would probably just wing it and hope to finish.  I downloaded an app and started training.  When Zach got home, he joined me in training two to three times per week.  (Did I mention I signed him up for the race, too?  I signed him up for the race, too.  Ha!)  Everything started out great, and soon we were running a full 3 miles without stopping - we were halfway there!  

Then the app started breaking our running times down into segments with breaks in between (Run for 10 minutes, Walk for 1 minute, Repeat 4 times), and we hit a HUGE wall in our training.  I got frustrated.    I started to think something was wrong with my legs - people interested in medicine self-diagnose constantly - and I was worried that I was going to embarrass myself at the 10k because with this new interval training I couldn't even make it a full two miles.  What the heck was going on???  Well, it turns out a bunch of sciency stuff with lactic acid and hydrogen ions was going on, but basically, my muscles needed to keep moving until they were ready to quit because once they quit, they were done.  This app was not working for me anymore.  I was ready to take control of my own fitness routine.

I thanked the app for getting us to three miles and deleted it from my phone.  I read up on how expert runners suggest you train and learned that you should never try to increase your running distance by more than about 10% per week - good to know!  We didn't really know what our starting running distance should be since our training was interrupted, but we set up a tentative training plan that we were happy with and got started.  My husband and I began increasing our distance a little at a time with no "rests" in between miles and started to see real progress.  We started with 3 miles one week (too easy), then increased to 3.5 miles, then 4 miles the next week, then 4.5 miles the next, until now, the week before the race, we are able to run almost 5 miles at a pace of around 10:30 minutes per mile.

I'm feeling pleasantly surprised at my progress and am super excited about the race!  Am I prepared?  I think I am.  I'm as prepared as I can be, at least.  My husband is a born athlete, so of course, he's prepared.  Am I nervous?  Uh, yeah.  I don't want to embarrass myself!  And the few weeks there in the middle where we hit a rough patch in our training are still really bothering me, but I think we'll do okay, and I am about 90% sure we'll finish the race together in under 70 minutes, which would be awesome.  I'm hoping that since we found our training rhythm, I can just focus on not getting injured for the next week and hope that the supportive atmosphere of the race inspires me to keep running for the full 6.2 miles.  We'll see how it goes!  Wish us luck!

Weddings Are a Scam! (Do What You Want!)

Big weddings are not for everyone.  And that's okay!  Small weddings are not for everyone, either.  And that's okay, too!!  We sort of met in the middle, pulling our favorite parts from each end of the spectrum.

I'm still a little embarrassed to admit that my husband and I did not have a long courtship - we got married after knowing each other less than a year.  I guess because I consider myself a sensible, modern woman, I feel like we should've dated for a few years, been engaged for a few more, and finally committed after a year of pre-marital counseling and half a decade of memories piled up to support us in our weaker moments.  Well, life really loves to throw me out of my comfort zone.  We announced our engagement to our families, who promptly began acting like we were dying, and started planning the wedding.

You know what you NEED in order to get married?  Besides love and a desire to hang out together for a while.  There are a lot of checklists out there, but what you need is a marriage license, some money, an ordained minister, two witnesses, and the two people who want to get married.  Sometimes, you need an appointment, but otherwise, that's it.  And that's all we had when we got married at the courthouse in May.

As you can see, we had a VERY low-key wedding ceremony with just the bare necessities (and a few surprise witnesses from the windows of the courthouse, who cheered loudly when we kissed - aww).  We left immediately after this for Kansas City, and honestly, I was dressed for comfort because that's a long car ride.  The point is the marriage was legal, and the commitment was real - even without fancy hair, makeup, and clothing.  We decided to renew our vows for the sake of our family and friends a week later at the reception, and this time, we dressed a little nicer for the party.

Most of the people who know what's going on in this picture seem relatively happy, yes?

Okay, some of us at the back look ready for the photo op to be over because it was friggin' hot when we all crammed in close together like this, and a majority of us just look drunk.  But anyway, this is a cross-section of our wedding reception, and most everyone is having a blast.

Now, we both come from middle class families, and my dad is retired (woot woot!).  There was NO REASON to pretend we had an unlimited budget, as fun as that would be.  Since we only had three months to plan the wedding reception - and since I'm a cheap ass who doesn't buy into consumerism and hates anything flashy - we needed to make the whole thing as inexpensive and practical as possible.

We saved money on:

• The ordained minister: My hilarious uncle with the booming voice officiated the wedding.  He and the rest of my uncles - and probably some aunts - worked together to write the ceremony.  It was perfect.
• The dress: I wore a $200 dress that I bought online with the intention of dyeing it and wearing it again at one of my husband's awards ceremonies or graduations.  I'm thinking light purple, then dark purple, then black, but I'm open to suggestions.
• My engagement ring: It's not a real diamond.  *gasp!*  It's moissanite, but you'd never be able to tell the difference if I didn't tell you.  And I don't have a wedding band because I have tiny fingers, and more metal just seemed cumbersome.
• The groom's wedding band: Y'all, it was $17 on Amazon, and it's the same thing they sell at Zales.  Don't be crazy.
• The bouquet: Mom and Grammy made my bouquet out of book pages.  It is AMAZING!!!
• The decorations: We borrowed enamelware from all of our relatives to use as serving dishes.  Mom got our vases in a sack sale at the thrift store, and the flowers were from Walmart.  We put butcher paper and crayons on the table.
• The sendoff: Mom printed out paper airplanes with space for guests to write advice or well-wishes before folding them up and throwing them at us.
• The honeymoon: We went to Kansas City.  We had a steak dinner at the Hereford House and went to a Royals game.  Then we took a brewery tour, got drunk at an arcade bar, and drove through Taco Bell for dinner one of our best nights EVER!

We splurged on:

• The Photographer:  My friend Rose Coleman took our pictures, and I will never regret breaking the budget on her.  I hardly remember anything that happened that night because it all went by so fast, but she captured everything so beautifully for my beloved photo albums.  If you're not a photo album freak like me, maybe this won't be as important for your wedding, but it was non-negotiable for ours.
• The Booze:  We still have wine and beer left over, but everyone who wanted to drink was able to get trashed to their heart's content and have a fantastic time, which is what we cared about. Also, my parents' fire pit was a popular hangout for the rest of the summer since they had a whole closet full of booze.
• The DJ:  We used a guy I went to high school with, Donnie Chalepah, and he was awesome!  He gauged the atmosphere and played different genres accordingly.  He single-handedly kept the party going.  Hardly anyone left early, and I give him all the credit for this because my husband and I were all over the place just trying to talk to everyone.
• The Catering:  Tacos.  Dude.  Who doesn't love tacos.  The thing was, we didn't account for cancellations due to weather or people being afraid to get food on themselves or seem like pigs, so we ordered WAY too much and threw a lot of it out.  It broke my heart.  Don't order too much food.
• The Venue:  We invited 150 people, so we needed a big venue.  I was happy with what Plenty Mercantile offered because it was a quirky warehouse/rooftop combo that fit our personalities and could accommodate my large family and all of my husband's endless entourage.

Was our wedding ceremony everything the magazines dream up for us to fantasize about?  No.  Was it absolutely perfect for us and a ton of fun with no sobbing or stressing?  Thankfully, yes!  And you know why?  Because we didn't go by what a magazine said we HAD to do - we did what worked for us!

(Full disclosure: We also carried the party back to the hotel lobby, broke a table, drank 4 bottles of champagne and took who knows how many shots before saying goodbye to our single friends as they piled into a truck and drove out to the nearest strip club.  We set an alarm to say goodbye to my in-laws, who left at 4am, but ended up only making it to the door before stumbling blindly back to bed.  We have never laughed so much in our lives.  This was an amazing night, and we didn't have to break the budget to make it happen.)

How did you save money on your wedding?  What "necessities" did you cut out completely?  What was your best bargain?  And most importantly, what was your favorite memory from your own wedding?

Personality Tests (Myers-Briggs, How to Fascinate)

Have you ever taken a personality test?

I love them.  I take them all the time.  (Buzzfeed's Quizzes page is my bag, baby.)  For me, it's fun to test the credibility of different testing methods against what I KNOW to be true about myself because I'm, like, so self-aware and sophisticated.  Aaaannnddd sometimes I learn a little something new about myself when a test connects the dots for me.  ;-)

We all decided that we liked personality tests when we started buying teen magazines, didn't we?  The quiz in the back is the best part!!  (Aside from the drool-worthy centerfolds of pre-pubescent heartthrobs - mmmmm!)  That quiz ruled our life - maybe still rules it sometimes when we really need some solid guidance.  It tells us exactly what to do in the coming weeks in order to live to our greatest potential or make our dreams come true or make our crush pay attention to us - whatever it is we're secretly hoping to accomplish.

Since entering the adult, working world, I've had the opportunity to take a few, real world, created by scientists, personality assessments that have, to different degrees, affected the way I see myself and the way I interact with others.  My first (EXCELLENT!) experience with one of these was with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

While I was working as a team lead for a dermatology clinic in Oklahoma, our manager encouraged all of us to participate in a clinic-wide assessment of personalities, so that we could approach each other in ways that made sense to all parties involved and ensure that our communication was always clear and efficient.  Actually, I think she was just trying to keep us from hurting each other's feelings all the time, but I'm not a big "feelings" person, so I looked at it with a results-based perspective.  But that's just my personality!

See, I learned that I'm what Myers-Briggs designates an INTJ type.  INTJ stands for Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging type, but don't let that description make you think less of me!  Feelings just aren't my thing.  Results.  Respect.  Competence.  Excellence.  Objectivity.  Efficiency.  A clear analysis of information.  All of those things - with an endearing, creative twist.  That's me.

The test showed that MOST people don't see the world from my perspective (imagine that), so when I walked into a room full of team members and immediately began talking about what results we wanted to see and handing out my meticulously, beautifully designed charts and tables, a lot of personality types would involuntarily shut down because I wasn't showing concern for their well-being as a human person.  Wow!  Okay!  I can work with that!  Cool.  So after we took the test, I made sure that I was making my rounds, asking about everyone's day, and laughing at cute stories about their kids and pets like a non-robot human.  After that, when I did have a work-related message to convey, they knew I cared about them and would listen to what I had to say and act on it.  Because I DID care about them - still do, actually - but I just wasn't showing that I cared in a way that they could feel it.  Conversely, when they came to me with a work issue, they knew to bring facts and figures that I could understand and avoid asking me about my personal life in that moment because talking about feelings distracted me from their message.  It was hard for me to mix business talk with real life talk.  Get it?  It takes all kinds, people.

Not only did we learn how to work efficiently as a team and not hurt each other's feelings all day, but we had FUN taking this test together and learning about our teammates' personalities.  It brought us closer and made work more pleasant and comfortable - for a majority of us.  Hey, some personalities just will never be happy in a female-dominated workplace at a desk job, right?  Their loss.  Because we were a great team made up of some pretty awesome people - and I knew that even before we took a personality test.  :-)

The other two tests I've taken are The Four Lenses (I'm a Gold.  My husband is an Orange.) and How to Fascinate (I'm a Victor.).  If you're going to take one or the other, I recommend How to Fascinate because it's a little different from the other two personality tests I've mentioned.  Let me explain.

The How to Fascinate assessment finds your two strongest personality traits, your Advantages, and encourages you to develop those two traits in order to be more genuine, more YOU, and therefore more fascinating to others.  For me, my two greatest Advantages are Prestige and Power (I have high standards for myself and others and am results-oriented).  My weakest Advantage is Trust (I don't stick to a specific schedule and have ever-changing interests, which can make me come across as a little unstable).  YUP!  That's me.  So my results would suggest that I continue to have high standards, continue to look at results, continue to approach problems objectively - and stop trying to tell people that I have a "favorite" anything or that I only believe one thing one way because I just don't operate that way.  It's not in me!  And in all reality, attempting to convince people otherwise to seem more "normal" or well-rounded is a waste of time because they will see right through that the next time I tell them a different favorite thing or a different opinion on the same subject, which I've done and will continue to do as my opinions grow and change.  How to Fascinate really speaks to me because it's basically saying, "People like you the way you are, and when you try to be something you're not, they notice, and they don't like it - and they stop paying attention to you."

I'm also long-winded in written communication.  Blame my Introversion!  ;-)

Have you taken a personality test?  What were your results?  Are there any other INTJ's out there whose friends said, "Awwww, that's mean, you're not like that," when they read over your results, even though, yes, you are totally like that?  Haha

Bye, Felicia! (Facebook)

Ugh, Facebook.

I've been done with Facebook for a while.

I kept it active because I thought it was the only way to stay in contact with my friends and family after we moved, but I was just making excuses.  I hardly ever messaged anyone on Facebook besides my parents.  My friends and I communicated now and then through comments on a post, but that wasn't working for me because the posts are what I wanted to get away from.  In general they're meaningless, they're mindless, and half the time they aren't even real news stories.

I deactivated Facebook permanently after I made the shameful decision one evening to say goodnight to my husband and then turn right back around to grab my laptop and continue arguing with some lady over some controversial post our mutual friend made.  Instead of snuggling in with my number one priority, I wanted to hide behind my computer screen and exchange passive aggressive comments with a stranger.

What.

I didn't WANT to do that, but that's what I did because I had a problem.  My excuse for keeping Facebook revolved around maintaining meaningful relationships, but I was using it in a way that completely stripped the meaning from hours of my day, and I had to get a grip on myself.

Here are the steps I took to get rid of Facebook forever:

• Events: 
• Put all of the events I have said I will attend into a planner or the phone calendar.
• Copy all events I'm hosting and force my husband to recreate them under his account.
• Pictures:
• Save and ORGANIZE (immediately) all pictures onto my computer.
• Create photo books of all of the best pictures, wait for the books to come in, put all pictures onto a jump drive and forget about them until there's a fire or something.
• Alternative Communication:
• Exchange emails, phone numbers, and addresses with people I like.
• Sign up for WhatsApp.  Tell my favorites to also get WhatsApp to message me.
• Skype my favorite favorites who also consider me their favorite favorite.
• Instagram.  I like posting pictures for my friends to look at.
• Start a blog for my Grammy to keep up with what's happening in my life.

Don't give in to the shocked exclamations of "You can't get rid of your Facebook!"  

Living the Facebook-free life since November 1, 2015.